Excitement, Finn spotto and warnings from the Big Man himself.

Okay, I’m pretty goddamn excited today. Why you ask? I will tell you. A few days ago I FINALLY bought a Laneway Festival ticket which I’m going to today!  I’ll leave that entry for another day.  Maybe even tomorrow.

I went to my local charity store yesterday (Vinnie’s) as I felt like shopping before work and am excruciatingly poor at present. There are too many things to see and hear and experience at the moment that my life is currently running at a monetary loss. It boasts a net life win presently however so I can’t really complain...

ANYWAY

 I picked up some things...some just because they were dirt cheap, others because I genuinely liked them and a couple that I thought would be generally amusing to try on.

How wrong can one person be...

I found a green American Apparel t-shirt and a beautiful old blue micro pleat shirt embroidered with white flowers; both for $2. They were on sale. I love charity store sales. It’s not like the prices are low enough...That’s how charitable they are. Fucking Legends.   You can’t really get much better than that. I’m wearing the t-shirt now in fact. I’d show you a picture but I’m not sure how to convey its comfort through a photograph. All I’ll say is that it’s like wearing a giant slice of freshly baked Wondersoft. For real.

Then there was the culprit to all my shame. I picked this little lace dress on a complete whim. It could have looked nice on. I don’t know. I also don’t know how I managed to get it on with relative ease but then could not for the life of me figure out how to remove it from my body. After about a minute of struggling and straining it remained jumbled together on my waist like a stupid lacy flotation aid that had no other function than to make me feel completely ridiculous.

I thought about putting it on properly again and venturing out of the change room to seek assistance. I decided against that idea when I looked in the mirror and realised I looked like a hooker. HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW IT WAS ONLY GOING TO JUST COVER MY LABIA?!

It seemed like it was time to devise a Plan B.

So, I then managed to extricate my bra allow for more room. It was getting pretty serious. By this time I was starting to sweat nervously a little bit in an already humid little cubicle. It made the silk stick to me a little bit more which was of course, exactly what I needed at that point.

Tried putting one arm through and then the other. Got stuck at half an arm.

Wiggled while jumping up and down, trying to pull it over my head. It was to no avail.

Looked up.

Saw this sign.

Thought about what an omnipresent would think if he saw me now...

Realised that if there was such a thing as an omnipresent being then by definition they would be able to see me.

Sweat glands: initiate overdrive.

Started to consider just sitting in this little place forever.

Was brought back to reality when I remembered I had work in half an hour.

In the end I managed to release myself from its clingy clutches by bending over forwards and doing some mashup between the wiggle and the one arm at a time trick.

SUCCESS!

I left the dress for some other sad fucker. Probably should have left a little note warning about the tenacity of the material and its unique ability to make me look like a crack whore prostitute.

C'est la vie.

In celebration of me seeing Neil Finn today at Laneway:

I saw his brother Tim Finn earlier on in the year at Southbound. He’s Neil’s other side of Split Enz and Crowded House most famously. Even more than 30 years on, they are still truly fantatic people in the music industry. I suggest you all have a proper listen.

I'm going to go prepare myself for an onslaught of awesomeness. 

LOVE x